Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Recent sweetness

Given the combative nature of the last post's photo, here are two sweeter shots.

Mondays off are so nice

Here is a little lady who is feeling the blues about heading back into the work week and her big brother who, might, just might, be teasing her.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A tale of two men

I was looking back at my last post and so many things occurred to me. I haven't posted much in the last several months and there are many reasons why, but two most certainly define the trend. Less than three months before I posted last and just a week before Christmas, we lost a very special and dear man, my Uncle Jay. It wasn't sudden but the impact was no less. He was a funny, smart and caring man who, above all else, loved my amazing Aunt to the ends of the earth. The world just isn't as bright without him, his jokes, amazing meals, twinkling eyes, sweet smile, encouragement, and big hugs. The last four months of 2011 were dim. Not only because of losing my uncle but because we also knew that my father was facing his final months as well.
Ten days after my last post, we lost my dad, Clay Fox. There's too much to say and not enough at the same time to truly summate or capture the enormous loss that comes from his passing. It was hard to face the new year as I knew that 2012 would be the year I lost my dad and the world lost a dynamic and vibrant fixture. He loved everything about life and did so much to keep it going. Losing my uncle was too hard to bear but losing my dad was even worse. Each day there's some new realization of what will never be again and it's a profound sadness. There are many things that make me sad but it's the little things throughout each day that help me celebrate and remember him, as well as my Uncle Jay. It's really through the kids that makes it possible. Mac will more than likely have small memories of each man, which gives me some relief. However, I know that Waverly will not, which is quite sad.

A couple of months before my dad passed, he gave Mac one of his more notable cowboy hats. When he first got it Mac wore it all the time but then, like most things, it was kind of not in focus for him. However, almost as though he knows I need to feel my dad's presence, he's been wearing it almost every day for the last week or two. It's so nice. He also wants to listen to Grandpa Clay songs and read the book Cowboy Up. In the same manner, he's been playing with a cup that Uncle Jay gave us a few years ago that he happened upon many years before he entered our lives.

Thank you to each of you who've provided love and support. Many didn't know what was taking place and mostly, that was because it was too hard to share. Watching my mom and aunt face their individual realities was not only incredibly difficult but also a spotlight on how amazingly strong and brave they each are. I feel so lucky to have them in my life and as role models. In the future there will be more smiles than tears and that is the only way it can be and what both men would want.

For now and with the hope that as the cloud gets lighter, posts of our two sweet, sweet kids will be more frequent, here's our little lady and the little cowboy (who have been playing together a ton these days, so fun).